Love's Fools
by padfoot's prose
Summary: Lily and James aren't, and never will be, friends. They'll fight and shag and hate each other, but at the end of the day, they'll always be love's fools - mere tools in the hands of their wild emotions. They'll be in love until it kills them both. L/J
1. Part I

**A/N: This is for LVB's Buffy Quotes Competition, because I've just started watching Buffy and love it to death, and I am convinced that the fates aligned to make me write for this challenge, so I did.**

**This story was tough to write, because the quote was a really difficult one. To explain why, you need to know that I am a massive Buffy/Angel fan (probably because I'm still up to season 3 and haven't seen her with anyone else yet) and this quote is basically the explanation of why they don't work out. On the other hand, I am in love with Spike, and this quote is definitely one of my favourites of his, so I desperately wanted to write a really good story for it. Personally, I don't think this quite cuts it, but I tried my best.**

**Disclaimer: The quote belongs to Joss Whedon and all the rest from BtVS, the characters and setting belong to JKR and WB. Basically, I've just combined the awesomness of both.**

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><p><strong>Love's Fools: Part I<strong>

_"You're not friends. You'll never be friends._

_You'll be in **love** 'til it **kills you both**._

_You'll fight and you'll shag, and you'll hate each other 'til it makes you quiver, but **you'll never be friends**._

_Love isn't brains, children, it's blood - blood screaming inside you to work its will._

_I may be **love's fool**, but at least I'm man enough to admit it."_

_-_Spike, BtVS season 3, Lovers Walk

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><p>The dormitory was mercifully empty when Lily came in, robes clutched to her tear-stained face. With a frustrated noise, she fell to her four-poster bed and tore the curtains closed behind her, turning to pummel her pillow until it was a haphazard blob, only escaping the onslaught when it slipped off her bed onto the floor beside it. Then Lily turned her anger on her bedspread, which was pulled from beneath her with equal ferocity and thrown to the floor over the pillow, soon followed by the clean white sheets and neatly folded pair of pyjamas.<p>

Her desire to seriously hurt something far from satisfied, Lily brushed the tears from her eyes for long enough to glance around and establish that there was nothing left to hit or throw. She repeated her frustrated scream and busied herself untangling her arms from her robes and throwing them to the floor as well, where they offered a stark contrast to the growing pile of bright, light-coloured bedclothes. Next she attempted to take off her tie, which, as she choked out another sob, felt as if it was constricting around her throat, making her gasp and cough.

"Lily?"

Lily hadn't heard the dormitory door open, and before she could try to regain some composure, Alice had pulled open the hangings and grabbed her hands, forcing them to her lap and they tried to continue their fruitless effort to remove the red and gold tie.

"You're pulling the wrong bit," Alice explained calmly, letting go of her friend's hands when they stopped putting up a resistance and sat limply on her legs. "Here – let me help."

Silently, Lily watched Alice's face as she removed the tie, throwing it onto the top of the stack of victims of Lily's anger. There was something strange about seeing Alice calm and in control – her round face looked pale and serious, so different to the usual pink that radiated excitement and energy.

"It's going to get awkward if you take any more clothes off, Lils," Alice said in a steady tone, "so do me a favour and tell me if you feel like throwing something else. I'll grab some stuff that won't permanently scar either of us – literally or mentally."

"I feel like throwing something that will break," Lily warned, lifting one of her hands to reach for the snow-globe on her bedside table.

Alice nodded in encouragement – "I think throwing that would be a great idea, I've never liked it much anyway."

"Good."

Lily launched the object at the wall opposite them, and both girls watched in fascination as the dome shattered against it, showering the floor with pieces of plastic and leaving a large wet stain on the wallpaper. The castle that had been inside it fell to the carpet with a soft thump and little pieces of fake snow rained down around it, taking a while to settle on the ground.

"Feel better?" Alice asked, looking back to her friend.

Lily shook her head.

"That's what he did to my heart," she whispered. "He pulled it out of my body and just chucked it away. Little bits of it were falling to the bloody ground beneath me and he just didn't care. He could tell what he was doing to me and still he kept shouting at me, just kept saying over and over again how much he hated me."

Alice turned away as Lily pressed her palms to her eyes, as if she was trying to force the tears back into her head. It was tragic to watch, but of course, she'd seen Lily like this before. It had been going on for most of seventh year, ever since James Potter had grown a brain and worked out that showing off isn't the way to get a girl to like you. He'd started being less of an arrogant prat, and that was all it took for Lily to finally admit she was head over heels for him. The two of them had been far too intense from day one, and that, paired with the usual perils of seventh year, had led to more than one destructive breakdown on Lily's part. And, as frightening as it was, this one was nowhere near the worst.

"I just don't understand it, Alice."

Lily's voice broke the silence, giving Alice the cue she needed to looked back at her friend.

"I mean, me and you have been friends for years and we've never had fights like this. It's like he can't help it, as if every time I start to think things are going well he has to explode about something so stupid and petty."

Trying not to roll her eyes at irony of _Lily_ blaming _James_ for starting fights about petty things, Alice patted Lily's back consolingly, saying, "Yeah, but me and you are very different to you and James. We're friends, Lils, good friends, and you and him aren't. You're a couple. Not just a normal couple either, James and you are like... epic, as a couple."

Wiping her eyes, Lily glanced up at Alice, her expression confused.

"Epic?"

"I just mean that with you and James it's like everything you do is so huge. Every time you're together there's this feeling that it's all bigger than just the two of you, like the whole world depends on you and him making it work. It's so obvious that you're meant for each other, but it still sometimes seems as if you're both trying so hard not to fall in love, like you feel all that pressure and it just makes you snap – you and him both. And you get into these stupid fights about the stupidest things, and it's as if your lives depend on hurting each other as much as possible, because that's the only you know of showing him how much you love him."

"I don't love him," Lily insisted. "Not after this."

Alice sighed and stay silent, standing up after a minute to start picking up the things Lily and thrown to the floor. She was partway through folding the bedspread when Lily spoke again, eyes fixed resolutely on her lap as she said, "He told me I'm not good for him. That he hates the way he feels around me, as if he's never going to be worthy of me. He said I treat him like he's below me, like he's somehow inferior."

She broke off, clenching her fist to suppress a wave of emotion, before blurting out, "He thinks he loves me more than I love him."

Alice finished folding the blanket and placed it at the end of Lily's bed, staring at her friend's tortured eyes, waiting for her to go on.

"He's wrong, Alice," Lily's finally revealed. "He thinks I don't love him, but I do. Just because I can't say it yet, just because I don't want to... you know, _show_ him yet..."

"James knows you love him, Lils," Alice assured her. "He's kidding himself if he's trying to tell you anything else. He knows just as much as the rest of us that you and him are meant to be together. But guys are idiots-"

"Not James," Lily interrupted. "James Potter is a lot of things, but he isn't an idiot."

"Yeah, but if you asked me, I'd tell you that Frank isn't an idiot, and yet he's the guy who managed to almost get killed by a flobberworm in fifth-year. I'm going to admit right now that my judgement of his idiocy is seriously compromised by the fact that I'm so darn in love with him. There could be the same problem with you and James."

Lily frowned, unconvinced.

"Or maybe you two are too _epic_ to face the same silly issues as every other mere mortal."

Smiling a bit at the jibe, Lily stood to help Alice fold up the last sheet. As she placed it on the bed, she heard the familiar sound of the stairs outside transforming into the long stone slide, and the sound of a boy's annoyed screams echoed up from below.

"I guess that's my cue," Lily mumbled, glancing at the door.

"I'd say so," Alice agreed. "I'll come with you."

The two of them left the dorm, waiting at the top of the slide until it melted back into a staircase to start down it.

"Maybe James' and my fights are more epic too, seeing as we're an epic pair."

"Hardly," Alice scoffed. "I've heard your fights. The last time one started it was because he borrowed your quill without asking."

"It was my favourite quill!" Lily said in her own defence.

"And there I was thinking _James_ was the idiot..."

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><p><strong>But wait! There is more yet to come. And I promise the other chapter actually has James in it.<strong>

**And yes, I did edit Spike's quote a little. I had to change it so I could use it in the title. Anyone who knows the real quote should understand why :P**


	2. Part II

**A/N: And here is part 2. This half actually includes James Potter, which I thought was a nice change. Also, you cannot comprehend how much fun it was to write the first few paragraphs of this. I could've gone on for hours writing more bits like them.**

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><p><strong>Love's Fools: Part II<strong>

On the evening of October 31st 1981, nothing particularly exceptional was happening in the Potter household at Godric's Hollow.

"I hate you James Potter!"

"Yeah, well, good, because I hate you, too!"

"You're arrogant and you're self-absorbed and every time I finally think we're making some sort of progress, you just pull the rug out from underneath me, as if you just want to rub it in my face that I'm somehow 'worse' than you-"

"You think I'm arrogant? Merlin, Lily, can you even hear yourself? I ask you about your day, I cook you bloody dinner, I set up candles and music and everything and you still can't be bothered to even say 'thank you' or 'good job' or 'this dinner tastes great', just because you're so caught up in everything going on in your own little world, which, if you ask me-"

"And you've always hated that I was better than you at Potions, and cannot accept that it had nothing to do with favouritism! All I want is to go visit an old teacher, who, by the way, supported me a hell of a lot more than you did through some of my early years at Hogwarts, when you were always making bloody vases fall on me or suits of armour-"

"Plus, you hated my mother! My mother was lovely – she'd send us cookies and she would have adored Harry and she looked after Sirius when he needed it most, and yet he, who hates bloody everyone, used to put up with my mother better than you did! I mean, have you seen the way you scrunch up your face when I so much as _mention _her! It's as if you can't stand the thought that someone-"

"See you're doing it again, just shouting and shouting over me as if my opinion doesn't even matter! Well, you know what James Potter? You are a misogynistic, patriarchal, sexist fool who was probably out there lobbying for women not to get the right to vote! And you know what? I think you're a racist too! Yes, that's right, I saw it when you-"

James fell silent, staring slack-jawed at his red-faced, screaming wife, who broke off suddenly when she noticed she was no longer yelling over him.

"Yes," he prompted, "you saw when I...?"

Lily, had she not already been red, would have blushed.

"I hadn't really thought of how I was going to finish the sentence," she admitted. "I was sort of hoping you wouldn't hear."

James smiled, leaning back on the kitchen bench behind him as he scanned the room, which looked, in the wake of their argument, decidedly as if a medium-sized bomb had gone off in it.

"And do you really still think I hated your mother?" Lily asked, drawing his eyes back to hers. "I mean, yeah, she sometimes seemed a bit clingy, but really she was wonderful, and her cookies were divine. You know, I actually think part of the reason why I agreed to marry you was for your mother's cookies."

James rolled his eyes and muttered, "Well, there's something a guy always wants to hear."

Lily smiled in response, her face relaxing into its usual exhausted-looking state as the blood faded from her cheeks.

"We should clean this up," she said, glancing around the kitchen.

"Mm, we probably should," James agreed.

And yet neither of them could quite work up the energy to begin the long process. It was astounding just how much damage they had managed to do in so short a time. One second, they'd been standing by the front door, waving off Sirius as he carried Harry over to his motorcycle, calling back promises to keep him safe, and the next they'd been tearing into each other like there was no tomorrow; yelling at the top of their lungs and throwing saucepans and small ornaments, kicking table legs and punching walls as if dedicated to reducing their small cottage to pile of rubble by the end of the night.

Now they were here, restored to the calm, reasonably sane people who had farewelled their young son almost an hour ago, and should be expecting him home soon. James' romantic dinner was separated into halves, where one was burning in the oven and the other was splattered on the wall behind Lily's head. The candles had been extinguished (and more than one of them broken) and the white tablecloth was in a pile on the floor. Surprisingly, this was by no means that worst room in the house.

Lily was the first to move, picking up a roll of paper towels that had been knocked the floor and using one to begin wiping the mess off the wall. James sighed and followed suit, turning around the being picking up saucepans, plates and glasses and tossing them into the sink, where he turned the tap to start the hot water running. As she headed towards the bin, Lily noticed the door of the microwave was open, and reached inside it to pull out a bowl of brown liquid.

"What's this?" she asked, brushing past James as she tossed the paper towels in the rubbish.

He glanced up from the cupboard that he was looking in, straightening to squirt some dishwashing liquid into the sink before looking at the bowl in Lily's hands.

"Oh, that's the chocolate sauce I was making. It goes with the desert, which was the pudding, but I guess now the sauce is kind of-" both he and Lily looked at the oven, which was still smoking ominously, "-useless."

"Is it good?" Lily asked, passing him again as she headed back to her area of wall.

"I think so. It tasted okay when I was making it."

Placing the bowl on the table, Lily dipped her finger in to scoop up some of the sauce, popping it in her mouth. She moaned in delight when she tasted it, taking her time to lick it all off her finger before saying, "James, this is delicious."

"Really?" He asked, seeming surprised. "Let me try some."

Lily dipped her finger in again and offered it to James across the table. He swallowed it eagerly, surprised but impressed at his own handiwork.

"Wow, I'm a fantastic cook," he announced, rounding the table. "You should let me cook more often."

Lily laughed, scooping up some more sauce for herself.

"See, that's what I mean about you, James. You do one thing right and then act as if you're better than me at it."

James let Lily feed him another finger-full, then said, "Yes, but I think we can both agree that I'm better than you at making chocolate sauce."

"Now that's just not fair. I haven't made any chocolate sauce yet."

"But you've tasted mine, and there's no way you could better that."

"What? Is that some sort challenge? Do you want to turn this into another competition? Because I'm definitely willing to take you on!"

James raised his eyebrows, smirking down at his wife.

"Really?" he goaded. "You think you can beat this?"

"I think I can."

The two tried to out-stare each other for a minute, but the contest ended when James chuckled and looked down, reaching out to grab Lily's waist and pull her close to him.

"Really, Lily?" he murmured, "We're going to fight about chocolate sauce?"

She shrugged, looking a bit embarrassed.

"Because I can think of a lot of better things to do with chocolate sauce," James continued, leaning in to brush his lips against hers.

Lily trembled as her heart sped up and the blood rushed through her body, making her feel hypersensitive as James' fingers gently caressed her back. She felt dizzy and her mind went blank as he pulled her closer still, one hand sliding up her side as the other burrowed under her top to skim over her stomach. Raising one hand to rest on James' neck, she dipped the other forefinger into the chocolate sauce, still beside them on the table, and slowly lifted it to her mouth, taking her time to lick it off.

James' very veins seemed to scream with desire as Lily finished her little show, and he was barely able to wait a second before crashing his lips against hers, lifting her up to wrap her legs around him and entangle their limbs, pushing her body against his.

"You have no idea how much I love you," James breathed as she freed his mouth for a second, pressing her lips to his cheek and neck.

"I think I do," Lily responded, before shutting him up again...

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><p>"So, what have you two been up to?" Sirius asked casually as James pulled open the door.<p>

"Nothing much," his friend replied, reaching out to take the sleeping baby from his arms. "Thanks for taking Harry for night," he added.

Sirius narrowed his eyes, standing on his toes to look past James, who seemed to be trying to block the doorway, and into the living room behind him.

"What are you hiding?"

"Nothing," James answered far too quickly.

"Sure... well, I'll see you tomorrow. Don't forget about the meeting for the Order, Dumbledore says it's an important one, he has some big news, apparently."

"Okay, I'll be there. But if Lily comes we might be a bit late. We're having trouble finding a sitter for Harry, and you know how Frank and Alice hate it when we bring him along, because he always makes their little Neville cry."

Sirius nodded, and the two friends clasped hands briefly before he turned and left, glancing back as he heard the door close behind him. Still curious, Sirius diverted from the path to the gate and walked around to the kitchen window, his mouth falling open when he saw the apocalyptic scene inside.

"Those two sure know how to fight," he muttered to himself, heading back to the path.

He walked out the gate and down the road to where his motorcycle was parked in the gutter. Starting the engine, he revved the bike and glanced around before taking off, speeding up high above the little town in a matter of seconds.

_Merlin_, he thought, _it was good thing James had answered the door. If I'd walked in and seen the house like that, I would've thought something terrible had happened._

And, shaking his head in relief, he flew away into the night.

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><p><strong>I know what you're thinking: 'Woah... eerie."<strong>

**Why not tell me I was right via a review?**

**Now, I am about to start on one of my infamous rants, but this one is sort of important, and could lead to a big step being taken by me:**

**When I first entered this competition and got this quote, I was having a really hard time thinking of a couple to use it for. Basically, the couple had to 1)Be really, really intense 2)Fight a lot 3)Have a tragic ending. At first, the two couples I could think of were Lily/James and Ron/Hermione. I went with Lily/James because I'm much better at writing them and because I could more easily get away with them not being friends, but I did have real problems with that aspect of the quote and tailoring my idea of what Lily and James are like to fit it.**

**Then, before I even started writing this, I had another idea of a pair that I would absolutely LOVE to write with this quote and who I think would suit it phenomenally well: Sirius/Remus.**

**Now, clearly, I've never written them before and I have no idea how to, which I why I ended up going with Lily/James, but the temptation to give them a go with this quote is still pretty strong. I guess my question to you is whether you think I should try it. I'd love to, but I have no idea how to go about writing slash, and although I've implied them as a couple before, I'm not really sure if there are a lot of people who actually want to read what I have to write about them.**

**So, even if you have nothing to say about the story and don't wish to chat to me about Buffy, I am taking votes on whether or not you'd be keen to read a Sirius/Remus oneshot based on the same quote, as well as advice on how to write slash, if you think I should give it go.**

**Thanks, and sorry for ranting,  
>Jg<strong>


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